Dec 242012
 

Project-X

2012 has been an amazing year for films. It was almost impossible to nail down a top 20 list, and the list of films that just missed out went really deep. But with the good, comes the bad, and 2012 has been no exception – it has been a particularly bad year for comedies and lame action flicks. After the jump, check out our picks for the worst 10 films of 2012.


 

The Amazing Spiderman

the-amazing-spider-man-andrew-garfield

Ok, question. How do you add this to your worst movies of the year list when it’s not really a movie and wasn’t released this year? There wasn’t a SINGLE moment in this copy and paste bore fest that was different or original or even, you know, genuine. It’s the same movie you saw in 2002 but with less everything. This is the kind of crap Hollywood shouldn’t get away with making, it’s junk and audiences deserve better. [Chris]

 

American Reunion

american-reunion

The single worst crime a film commit is being boring, and this film is guilty as charged. These people weren’t that interesting to begin with, and now we’re forced to spend over 2 hours with them why they whine about their lives and try to relive a rose-tinted version of high-school that never existed. Ugh…just ugh. [Sam]

 

Any Questions for Ben?

josh-lawson

Yes, why do you exist? Although this is merely a list of bad films we saw without any true order, Any Questions For Ben? is by far the WORST movie I saw this year. A 27-year-old douche who sleeps with supermodels and drives sports cars complains about his life being meaningless? F you and F your montages of douchery. With the exception of a goof performance from Byron Brochman, nothing is charming, funny or even works. Hated. [Chris]

 

The Dictator

Megan-Fox-in-The-Dictator-

Where do I start with this film?I laughed once in 83 minutes and it was at a feminist clown joke. In return for that laugh I had to see two people share a “special” moment while elbow deep inside a woman giving birth. Need I say any more? Painfully unfunny stuff. [Sam]

 

Irvine Welsh’s Ecstasy

irvine-welsh-s-ecstasy

With a budget of about twelve dollars, and a director who clearly likes to direct his actors away from good performances, Irvine Welsh’s Ecstasy is a movie you probably haven’t seen or heard of and I recommend you keep it that away. You’ll find it in the bargain bin at Kmart soon enough, but don’t let curiosity get the better of you, it’s not worth the $2 it’ll be selling for. Cheap and lazy. Oh cinema, even you surprise us all sometimes. [Chris]

 

The Lucky One

The-Lucky-One

Do you like “easy listening” soft rock? Do you like you films with a soft filter and countryside setting? How about characters that are so predictable you can foresee each word they are about to say? Well, then this Nicolas Sparks adaptation vomit-fest is for you. Oh and one question – Who the hell pulls someone into the shower for some loving while they are still wearing their jeans???? Just absurd. [Sam]

 

Piranha 3DD

piranha-3DD

Thankfully this cinematic treasure went straight to DVD in Australia, so most of you were spared the pain of seeing it. While Piranha wasn’t good, it at least tried to have some sort of story-line, and I did laugh quite a bit. This film doesn’t even try; instead it’s just a feature-length advertisement for breast enlargements. [Sam]

 

Project X

project x

For me this was easily the worst film of 2012 without a question. A filthy piece of “film making” which was just an excuse to show a bunch of young guys getting wasted and being the biggest f*ck wits on the planet. A film which pretends that it is “real” party footage and shows underage drunk girls being taken advantage of? That’s one classy piece of crap. [Sam]

 

Safe

Safe

So basically, Jason Statham plays an ex cop, an ex boxer, an ex homeless man, an ex assassin and ex actor who makes it his business to look after a young Asian girl who has the combination to a SAFE and he tries to keep her SAFE from the triads and other who almost all happen to be Asian  foreign and dumb who like shooting things for no reason. Sam and I were in the same session and we found it SAFE to say, this thing is unwatchable. [Chris]

 

That’s My Boy

thats my boy

Now here’s a runner-up for films that best resemble sitting on a chainsaw. Adam Sandler sleeps with old women, bashes up a priest, swears at children and then proceeds to yell “poop” in a sleazy strip club with Andy Samberg. This isn’t comedy, it’s a 2 hour prostate check with razor blades. [Chris]

 

Dishonourable mentions

Chris: Taken 2, Pitch Perfect, Mirror Mirror, The Lucky One, Rampart

Sam: Wuthering Heights, Iron Sky, The Darkest Hour, Rock of Ages, Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2, Trishna