Dec 242012
 

Project-X

2012 has been an amazing year for films. It was almost impossible to nail down a top 20 list, and the list of films that just missed out went really deep. But with the good, comes the bad, and 2012 has been no exception – it has been a particularly bad year for comedies and lame action flicks. After the jump, check out our picks for the worst 10 films of 2012.


 

The Amazing Spiderman

the-amazing-spider-man-andrew-garfield

Ok, question. How do you add this to your worst movies of the year list when it’s not really a movie and wasn’t released this year? There wasn’t a SINGLE moment in this copy and paste bore fest that was different or original or even, you know, genuine. It’s the same movie you saw in 2002 but with less everything. This is the kind of crap Hollywood shouldn’t get away with making, it’s junk and audiences deserve better. [Chris]

 

American Reunion

american-reunion

The single worst crime a film commit is being boring, and this film is guilty as charged. These people weren’t that interesting to begin with, and now we’re forced to spend over 2 hours with them why they whine about their lives and try to relive a rose-tinted version of high-school that never existed. Ugh…just ugh. [Sam]

 

Any Questions for Ben?

josh-lawson

Yes, why do you exist? Although this is merely a list of bad films we saw without any true order, Any Questions For Ben? is by far the WORST movie I saw this year. A 27-year-old douche who sleeps with supermodels and drives sports cars complains about his life being meaningless? F you and F your montages of douchery. With the exception of a goof performance from Byron Brochman, nothing is charming, funny or even works. Hated. [Chris]

 

The Dictator

Megan-Fox-in-The-Dictator-

Where do I start with this film?I laughed once in 83 minutes and it was at a feminist clown joke. In return for that laugh I had to see two people share a “special” moment while elbow deep inside a woman giving birth. Need I say any more? Painfully unfunny stuff. [Sam]

 

Irvine Welsh’s Ecstasy

irvine-welsh-s-ecstasy

With a budget of about twelve dollars, and a director who clearly likes to direct his actors away from good performances, Irvine Welsh’s Ecstasy is a movie you probably haven’t seen or heard of and I recommend you keep it that away. You’ll find it in the bargain bin at Kmart soon enough, but don’t let curiosity get the better of you, it’s not worth the $2 it’ll be selling for. Cheap and lazy. Oh cinema, even you surprise us all sometimes. [Chris]

 

The Lucky One

The-Lucky-One

Do you like “easy listening” soft rock? Do you like you films with a soft filter and countryside setting? How about characters that are so predictable you can foresee each word they are about to say? Well, then this Nicolas Sparks adaptation vomit-fest is for you. Oh and one question – Who the hell pulls someone into the shower for some loving while they are still wearing their jeans???? Just absurd. [Sam]

 

Piranha 3DD

piranha-3DD

Thankfully this cinematic treasure went straight to DVD in Australia, so most of you were spared the pain of seeing it. While Piranha wasn’t good, it at least tried to have some sort of story-line, and I did laugh quite a bit. This film doesn’t even try; instead it’s just a feature-length advertisement for breast enlargements. [Sam]

 

Project X

project x

For me this was easily the worst film of 2012 without a question. A filthy piece of “film making” which was just an excuse to show a bunch of young guys getting wasted and being the biggest f*ck wits on the planet. A film which pretends that it is “real” party footage and shows underage drunk girls being taken advantage of? That’s one classy piece of crap. [Sam]

 

Safe

Safe

So basically, Jason Statham plays an ex cop, an ex boxer, an ex homeless man, an ex assassin and ex actor who makes it his business to look after a young Asian girl who has the combination to a SAFE and he tries to keep her SAFE from the triads and other who almost all happen to be Asian  foreign and dumb who like shooting things for no reason. Sam and I were in the same session and we found it SAFE to say, this thing is unwatchable. [Chris]

 

That’s My Boy

thats my boy

Now here’s a runner-up for films that best resemble sitting on a chainsaw. Adam Sandler sleeps with old women, bashes up a priest, swears at children and then proceeds to yell “poop” in a sleazy strip club with Andy Samberg. This isn’t comedy, it’s a 2 hour prostate check with razor blades. [Chris]

 

Dishonourable mentions

Chris: Taken 2, Pitch Perfect, Mirror Mirror, The Lucky One, Rampart

Sam: Wuthering Heights, Iron Sky, The Darkest Hour, Rock of Ages, Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2, Trishna

  20 Responses to “Worst Films of 2012”

  1. Hmmm, judging by this list I should go and watch the ones I haven’t seen! Loved The Dictator and quite enjoyed American Pie Reunion. The Amazing Spider-Man was nowhere near as good as the original Spiderman, and it was more or less the same thing, but I enjoyed it after it’s slow start.

    I didn’t mind Project X at all, was exactly what the trailer presented. That’s My Boy was fairly average but I didn’t hate it.

    That being said, I have no interest in seeing Any Questions for Ben?, Irvine Welsh’s Ecstasy, The Lucky One, Piranha 3DD or Safe!

  2. Having The Amazing Spiderman on the list is kinda harsh although I agree with the sentiment of Hollywood recycling stuff endlessly. I think there are 6 comic-based releases in 2013 including The Wolverine, Iron Man 3, and Man of Steel.

    I prefer smaller budget Fox Searchlight and indie films. Great blog.

    • Thanks for the comment Alex and thanks for reading. We do seem to get consistently better films from the smaller/indie distributors.

  3. I shouldn’t defend it too much as I gave it a C+ myself, I guess I did have a decent time though. Perhaps it was all due to Alexis Knapp <3

    It's looking like 3 of these films will make my Top 50 of the year though!

  4. HELL YESS! for The Amazing Spider-Man. Absolutely despise that film.

    Luckily, I haven’t seen any of the others.

  5. Haha Thanks for reading and complimenting!

    I agree! No one’s adding it in their worst of lists and just kinda giving it a free pass for sucking/being wholly unoriginal.

    So glad you agree!

  6. @Alex Summers,

    Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

    I don’t know, it felt so phoned in and recycled and kind of a representation of Hollywood and its constant obsession with profit and familiarity over an original/genuine story.

    But I can see what people enjoyed and am glad they did. (Plus it had Denis Leary)

  7. LOL American Reunion, good call.

  8. I saw bits of Project X and…

    I may not be a saint when I was a teenager but what I saw was extremely repulsive, obnoxious, and most of all, misogynistic. How can anyone enjoy this crap?

    Oh, and I hope Adam Sandler burns in hell for all of the bullshit movies he’s making as they’re no longer films as they’re just feature-length commercials for all sorts of lame products.

  9. It’s too bad the Amazing Spiderman was so fricken boring because I quite liked Garfield in the role (although he doesn’t even really pull off ‘un-cool’ very well!)

  10. The only movie I’ve seen on this list is The Amzing Spiderman, which I actually liked quite a bit. I could have been affected a little bit by the fact that I watched it with my daughter who loved it and we had one of those wonderful shared-experience-at-the-movies night. But it would be dishonest to only blame her. I thought it was fun to watch, well balanced between darkness and lightness, romance and tension and satisfying when it comes to special effects. Loved Andrew Garfield as well. For sure, you can question if it was necessary to reboot it this soon. But if it had to be done, this was a fine way to do it.

    I don’t do worst-film-of-the-year lists, but if I did, Rock of Ages would rock it, in competition with Alps and Isn’t Anyone Alive.

    • A great film-viewing experience can elevate any film to something special!

      I totally agree with you on Alps and Rock of Ages – they were both in the bottom of the bunch for me.

      Thanks for your comment Jessica

  11. The Amazing Spiderman was fun, enjoyed it more than Sam Raimi’s version

  12. Yes! Best list ever! Loved that your put “Amazing Spiderman” on it.. it was not good at all (outside of the Garfield-Stone chemistry) and I don’t see how people liked it.

  13. Thanks Shala! It seems a lot of people didn’t like this film. It was quite a bore really…

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